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What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person or group of people tries to make another person doubt their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. It can be a very destructive form of emotional abuse that causes the victim to feel powerless, uncertain, and have low self-esteem.
Origin of the term
The term "gaslighting" comes from the title of the British play "Gas Light" (known in the U.S. as "Angel Street"), written by Patrick Hamilton in 1938. The play was adapted into two film versions, one of which, released in 1944, became particularly famous.
The play "Gas Light" is about a man named Jack who tries to make his wife Bella believe she is losing her mind. He constantly alters small details in her environment and denies that these changes have occurred at all. One of Jack's main manipulation methods involves changing the brightness of the gas lamps in the house (hence the name "Gas Light"). When Bella notices the light changing, Jack insists that she is just imagining it. His constant denials and manipulations make her doubt her sanity and the reality of what is happening around her.
After the release of the play and the film adaptations, the term "gaslighting" began to be used in a broader context to describe any situations where one person tries to make another doubt their own perceptions or memories. In the 1960s and 1970s, this term gradually entered psychological and everyday vocabulary, describing forms of manipulation and emotional abuse.
Gaslighting can occur in various contexts, including personal relationships, workplace relationships, and even political situations.
Forms of gaslighting
- Denial: The manipulator denies that something happened or refuses to acknowledge that they said or did something.
- Distortion: The manipulator distorts facts or events to make the victim doubt their memory or perception of reality.
- Belittling: The manipulator diminishes the significance of the victim's feelings or thoughts, calling them "unreasonable," "silly," or "insignificant."
- Projection: The manipulator blames the victim for their own mistakes or shortcomings, creating a sense that the problem lies with the victim.
- Isolation: The manipulator tries to isolate the victim from friends, family, or other supportive people to increase their dependence on the manipulator.
Examples of gaslighting
- Personal relationships: In romantic relationships, one partner may constantly deny their actions, causing the other partner to doubt their memory. For example: "I never said that, you’re just making it up."
- Work environment: A boss may blame an employee for mistakes they themselves made or deny promises they made. For example: "I never said you would get a promotion. You misunderstood me."
- Political manipulation: Political leaders or governments may use gaslighting to discredit critics or make citizens doubt the credibility of information. For example: "It's not true that we cut the healthcare budget. That's just fake news."
How to protect yourself from gaslighting
- Trust your feelings: If you feel that something is wrong, trust your intuition and feelings. Your reality matters.
- Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist. Getting external support can help you stay connected to reality.
- Document events: Keep records or a journal of what is happening. This can help you validate your memories and feelings.
- Set boundaries: Learn to say "no" and protect your personal boundaries. Don’t let manipulators control your life.
Gaslighting is a dangerous form of psychological manipulation that can have serious consequences for the victim. It is important to be aware of this tactic, recognize its signs, and know how to protect yourself. Trust your feelings, seek support, and do not let manipulators control your life.
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